= Tiredness of Love =

again again and again...
once again,i feel very tired to couple again...
maybe really not the time for me to couple right now
maybe really not the jodoh for me...
once again,
i feeling to cry out
i feeling my heart is broken
i feeling to stop everything
i feeling to be alone....

@28.08.10@

feeling~

i dono how to describe my feeling right now
suddenlly i think back everything in westin
i miss he, he, he, she, she, she....
i miss somebody..
i feel like i want to cry....
can i stop this feeling?

why everything can say change then everything become different?
why a good friend can change like so strange?
i really cant read what is in ur mind?
can u all tell me?
who am i to u all?
why every time i treat people by heart,but lastly no people will appreciate it??
why at last i am the one to get hurt?
why is me???
should i not too close,not too friend with everyone?

***********************************************************************

start my first job in CDM for 6th days...
everything still ok,the working environment is ok,
but i still need some time to learn from the start...
talk about the quaters,i can jus use one word
that is too HOT!!!
u can imagine the whole day like inside the sauna room
the six day,i jus have one day can direct sleep untill morning,
others, i sure hot until awake at lately night
i been experience to sleep in sweating...
how come so hot??? i also dont understand......
mayb one day i will faint cos too hot
mayb one day i will die cos too hot
i need it to rain right now!
i need a extra fan right now!
i need a air corn right now! (if possible)

@25.08.2010@

learn...

Learn 。学习

学习笑着面对
学习不去羡慕别人
学习靠自己去创造幸福
学习坚强
学习一个人

学习，还有一段很长远的路
我相信我做到！

不开心的时候学习微笑
难过时学习放下
生气时学习宽容
学习忘记，学习放下，学习微笑

Lucky Day for Me

i think it should be a lucky day for me...

i going to four season and casa del ma interview
starting is not so smooth,
cos four season promise wil interview me
but lastly they say cant make it..
ok,fine~

i start my second target,casa del mar
so lucky,i think i got it...
i like a small hotel but got team spirit among the people
it seem will be very happy if i work here..

Casa De Mar,will be my next destination
will be my new life...
i believe Connie can do it!
learn more and gain more experience!

thanks Mr.H accompany me for whole day
i think this is our best relationship
maybe i not really like him so much...
anyway,he still the friend that i care much...

Lucky @ Connie

End Of My Training

23rd of July,

i finished my 6 months internship
i don't know why i feel so sad and so hard to leave here
mayb there is some people that i love,that i care,that i miss
how is passed the 6 months?
mayb i can say is alot of sadness,alot of happiness,alot of memories
thanks to those appear in life
the first malay guy i love so much,Fauzi
my lovely brother,Ganesh
my lovely housemate,Gan & Nancy
my lovely buddies,Aie Katak Paan Wan
my lovely scandal,Halim Afzal Pak Tam Halis Haffiz
my lovely close frienz,Shima
and............alot alot.....

i like this place so much,becos u all...
i hate this place so much,also becos of u all...
i understand the truth of living here,
when i giving the truth heart on treating people,
that is not neccessary people must give me the truth heart...

how hurt i been here?
how sad i been here?
and i telling myself i gonna leave the place as fast as possible
but why when i leaving here,
i was crying for whole day and i can feel the heart ache-ing...
what it means to me?
i don't know....

i hate,i hate to alive anymore..
if can,i choose to end my life...........

Connie,你好吗？

再次回来充满悲伤的空间
每次走进这里，就觉得自己再一次的失败
不管是事业，家庭，感情还是朋友
结果还是失败！

为什么我此刻的心会觉得这么痛？
痛到我想哭出来的感觉
我要的是什么，我开始不明白
我该往哪走，我开始不知道
能不能就让我漂泊在无名的地方
让我变成无名的小女孩
平凡的走到最后。。。

抓不住的感觉，抓不住的感情，抓不住的你
要如何让感觉更踏实？
要如何让感情更长久？
要如何让你呆在我身边？

爱一个人真的可以做到放手祝福吗？
也许。。。
那会是在某一天某个人走进我的心，
代替你在我的心的位置。。。

我想把手放了，
因为我相信你心里有我的一天，
你会把我抓到你身边。。
我想把你抓住，
因为我害怕当我松开手，
你会永远消失在我的身边。。

#矛盾的心#